Tom Waits can often be heard muttering to himself, "My vagina this, my vagina that...".

Tom Waits thinks Michael should fucking write something.

Tom Waits forgot 9/11 two hours after it happened.

Tom Waits is the only man on Earth that Gary Busey is afraid of.

Tom Waits hasn't forgotten.

Tom Waits invented the "cha-cha-cha" dance.

Tom Waits could fart into a microphone, and it would sound better than 99% of music out there.

Tom Waits, Dee Snider, and Tom Petty are joing together to form the ugliest supergroup ever: 9-Bean Chili and the Gas Company.

An ancestor of Tom Waits, also named Tom Waits, was one of the lesser known founding fathers of our country. A falling out occurred when Waits suggested that all members of the legislative branch be issued a bottle of bourbon whenever the House convenes. Disappointed by his colleagues' reluctance, Tom Waits walked out of the room muttering, "I'm not signing that piece of garbage."

Goatse.cx? That's Tom Waits.

Tom Waits never meant to hurt you.